dearestophelia (dearestophelia) wrote,

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FFVII / RenoxRude / ...Call This a Date?

Title: ...Call This a Date?
Author: mirroredsakura
Fandom: FFVII
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: RenoxRude
30_dates Challenge: #1, First Date
Warnings: Uh... a naked Reno and sex in passing mention. Which probably means there's an implied naked Rude in there too, I guess.

Summary: When it's Reno and Rude having a first date, it's bound to end up a little... unorthodox.

Disclaimers: The sexy redhead and the baldy aren't mine. They might belong to each other though. Or so I'd like to imagine.


The first time had been a little unorthodox. Reno, for all intents and purposes, was an old-fashioned boy at heart. Insofar as his version of asking a girl out on a date required several cheesy pick-up lines and several good opportunities for leering. The date itself allowed for flexibility in its beginning stages; dinner, dancing, nude chocobo racing, but it all invariably ended up with a good rough-and-tumble in-between cheap hotel sheets and a satisfied cat-who-ate-the-cream look to the redhead when he showed up for work the next day.

Somehow, it stood to reason that Rude would do nothing of the sort.

Admittedly, Reno himself had had some fault in that. His partner had walked in on a bad night at the bar—what had he even been mad about that night anyway?—and confronted him about something. He hadn’t been too happy about whatever it was, in any case. Rude had cemented in Reno’s total shame by literally hefting him up in a princess carry and walking out the door, unmindful of the solid kicks Reno had been aiming at his side and the wriggling that’d accompanied it. It’d taken a quick dumping into the passenger seat of some unnamed vehicle—that'd smelled like new leather, whose door closed with a soft whispering thunk and that'd simply screamed expensive—to shut Reno up just in case Rufus was in the car and they were going somewhere important. He wasn’t. Reno’d let out a lungful of air he hadn’t even known he’d taken in, utterly relieved. Of course, immediately afterwards he’d forced his somewhat muggily-functioning brain to plot up something decently evil in the revenge game.

Reno grinned at the memory, reaching over on impulse and snatching up one of the voice recordings he'd made after the momentous event. Elena was right after all, making the things were a hell lot more fun than a diary could hope to be. Less like paperwork, for one. He slipped it into the player, lounging backwards against the coolness of the naked mattress with a plumped-up pillow and a cigarette in hand to listen to the dulcet tones of his own voice.

Yep. Still damned sexy.


Rude’d borne my slurred advances—clearly the best form of retaliation—and my leaden body draped awkwardly against his chest silently, and looked as though a sexy redhead all over him was an everyday occurrence. (Hah. I don’t get piss-drunk all that often!) Up until an abrupt stop had me sliding down the length of Rude’s chest, and down into his lap where I made appropriately pleased murmurs and rubbed my nose up between Rude’s legs until I was forcibly hauled up and away, Rude’s voice serious behind his mirrored lenses. “You’re not half as drunk as you pretend to be, Reno.”

“Aww, it’s just a joke, yo—” (Rude's grip ain't no joke, I gotta tell ya.)

“I’m taking you home now,” Rude replied, ignoring me completely. Don’t think he expected the sudden flailing. Or the panicked—er... heatedNo!” He managed to block my lunge at snatching precious glasses and holding them hostage however.

“Girl’s still there,” I hastened to explain, looking up to see the distance between myself and my place diminishing before my very eyes, “Got it in her head that I’m hers, probably started ransacking the place when I slipped out on her through the window—went through all this trouble to get myself lost in the crowd, ya know? Y'can't make me go back yet!”

Not that I really cared what she’d done to the place. Never kept the important stuff there—knew better than to store stuff in a shithole like that. Still, hell if I’d go back in there right there and then. Bitch was insane, but man was she stacked, with legs that went on forever. Place did come outfitted with plenty of wickedly sharp kitchen utensils that might be used to inflict bodily harm on my person, after all and I’ve got a duty to protect my bits from chicks who want me just a little too much.

“…Then what exactly are you going to do between now and then?”

I glanced at him. Sounded like the partner might be caving. “Lezgo back to the bar?” I asked hopefully, though truthfully not expecting much.

“No, Reno.”

That brought a frown to my face, “You’re not taking back to the Shinra building, are you? I’ve got a running record for showing up late and this could count against me, ya know?”

“I didn’t know you cared so much.”

Massive betting pool going on. I’m winning this, I tell ya.”

“No wonder Tseng has been talking about docking your paycheck.”

“Damn it Rude, we’re still heading towards my place! Turn around and I’ll take you to freaking ramen, all right?”

Desperate times, desperate measures. On normal occasions, I didn't even like ramen all that much. Nothing wrong with a good slice of pizza or six after all, yeah?

This was obviously so unusual that Rude could do nothing other than obediently turn the car around and follow—much against his own better judgment, heh—my totally sober directions that led us down some pretty bizarre pathways. One involved a pigeon-infested alleyway though I'll henceforth always claim I’d truly intended to pass by the troll with the hairy back instead of being hopelessly lost in the tangles of my own domain. Wouldn’t do to have the partner think otherwise, after all.

‘Course I had the distinct impression that Rude was probably inclined to give up on the whole thing once he’d pulled the car to a stop and my valiant attempts to get out of the car with dignity had me sprawling for the second time against Rude’s chest.

Rude opted for take-out after that.

And I somehow also found myself back in Rude’s arms again—this time in a much less comfortable and marginally more ignoble fireman carry—as he balanced one loudly-complaining, redheaded yours truly in one arm, and a box of covered take-out noodle bowls in the other. Not the best first entrance into your partner’s inner sanctum, I’m telling ya. Great way to meet the neighbors though.

I mean, my place ain’t nothing to look at… bedroom, bathroom, space in between that could count as anything. There’s a fridge there though and a table so I guess it’s just one whole kitchen party the minute you walk through the door. Total mess, gotta say.

But Rude actually put effort into the place, y’know? Like there was stuff there besides the basics—the man even had a tablecloth!

“Well this ain’t half bad,” I drawled as he dumped me unceremoniously onto his couch and turned to set the consumables safely aside. Couldn’t help the eyeful I was getting at ass-level either, or the wolf-whistle that followed. “Whoo, yeeeaaah Rude, lookin’ sharp!”

He turned to glare at me.

I spanked that ass.

…Then I got strung up out his window for the better part of an hour while he ate up all the ramen. There's gratitude for ya, huh?

Like I said, great way to meet the neighbors. Lady in the apartment next to him had those little flowerbox things with some dead sticks in it that she kept poking her head out to water, while staring at me in the process. I like to think it had more to do with my dashing good looks than the fact that I had the word “IDIOT” scrawled in red across my chest.

Did I mention I was naked?

Yeah, Rude’s thorough like that.

And no, I didn’t beg. Totally beneath me. No begging involved. None.

…There was some loud manly requesting to be done, however.

And it totally ended up with me yelling obscene things up at the open window. Takes time to warm up to the topic, y’know? Explains why it took so long for him to lean out and jerk me back up for being a loudmouthed nuisance.

‘Course he was hard by then. I'm a master, works every time, I'm telling ya. And Odin fucking Sleipner it felt good to take it on his couch, throw pillows—Rude had throw pillows for fuck’s sakes—and all.

Man lost his glasses during that one… didn’t have anywhere to pull out a spare—that I could see anyway, never did get around to touching that ass—didn’t look half-bad without them too. Was also way more comfortable to fall asleep on than any pair of breasts I’ve ever met—don’t often take it upon myself to fall asleep in some random broad’s arms after all. But he was comfy. And… nice-feeling. Yeah.


“Talking to yourself again?” came the amused-sounding voice from the other side of the door.

Reno let out a yelp and he dove for the player, shutting it off and ejecting the tape just as the door opened and Rude stepped in with all his customary tactlessness—when it came to Reno-embarrassing moments, that is.

“Ah, so you were listening to yourself instead. What exactly was so nice-feeling?”

“My cock up your ass. Damn it Rude, warn a guy next time!”


“Such a bastard.”

“Just the way you like it.”

Yeah, other people might call them unorthodox. Reno thought a better description was just fucking weird.

Well, he thought several hours later, naked and languid against a large muscled chest, not like it’s a bad thing, anyway.

There could've been weirder beginnings and much weirder endings, after all.


Hasty? Yeah. But this was a hell of a lot longer than the others promise to be. ^_~ Also: Laura, Caelin, I'm still not seeing the kink. *sticks tongue out at you both*
Tags: ffvii, renoxrude

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